"Grief is a wound we cannot reconcile. It changes us indelibly. It is the process of teaching ourselves to value, and ultimately to want, the new life that was the sum of all our fears."
Thank you for reposting this. You did so on the 5th anniversary of my dad's death. This weekend I reflected with his sister, and on what a dear friend told me when he passed, that our loved ones live forever in our memories and in the stories about them that we share with others.
Their presence -- and remembering the anniversary of their death -- does fade more into the background with each passing year. As you pointed out, that too is something to grieve. But I do my best to make remembering special for me at least. Dad would be the one to tell me to take care of myself first. I'm not consistent but I try to start there. It was our one-on-one dynamic that I miss the most anyhow. Sustaining that in this new way is equal parts honoring him and getting me through.
Thank you so much for this. I read it this morning as I am about to head to my hometown for my mother’s memorial service. It so accurately reflects how I feel about grief and gives me much to hold onto as I process.
That’s awfully hard Heidi. I hope you have supportive people around you today, and I hope you can be gentle on yourself at such a painful time. Take care.
Thank you for this poignant and deeply reflective meditation.
My mother died in an unusual circumstance. It was late evening, March 20th, 2020 just as New York was shutting down from the pandemic. She died not from Covid, but from the aftereffects of a procedure the week before. She was healthy and strong and then seven days later she was gone.
The next day my daughter was to be married. We went ahead with the ceremony as we knew that's what my mother would have wanted. And that's what all of us wanted too.. Instead of a large wedding we had a ten person ceremony in our living room. It had a special intimacy. The two life events are inextricably linked in my memory. On balance, I think that link has helped with my grief, but I can't be sure.
"Grief is a wound we cannot reconcile. It changes us indelibly. It is the process of teaching ourselves to value, and ultimately to want, the new life that was the sum of all our fears."
Whoa
Thank you for reposting this. You did so on the 5th anniversary of my dad's death. This weekend I reflected with his sister, and on what a dear friend told me when he passed, that our loved ones live forever in our memories and in the stories about them that we share with others.
Their presence -- and remembering the anniversary of their death -- does fade more into the background with each passing year. As you pointed out, that too is something to grieve. But I do my best to make remembering special for me at least. Dad would be the one to tell me to take care of myself first. I'm not consistent but I try to start there. It was our one-on-one dynamic that I miss the most anyhow. Sustaining that in this new way is equal parts honoring him and getting me through.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you too Wendy.
Love this. Thank you, Laura.
Amor Fati is my mantra these days. I drink out of this mug daily...
https://jasonchatfieldstore.com/products/amor-fati-mug
Thank you so much for this. I read it this morning as I am about to head to my hometown for my mother’s memorial service. It so accurately reflects how I feel about grief and gives me much to hold onto as I process.
That’s awfully hard Heidi. I hope you have supportive people around you today, and I hope you can be gentle on yourself at such a painful time. Take care.
Thank you for this beautiful piece.
Thanks for reading it Madeleine.
A beautiful piece, Laura ❤️
Thank you for this poignant and deeply reflective meditation.
My mother died in an unusual circumstance. It was late evening, March 20th, 2020 just as New York was shutting down from the pandemic. She died not from Covid, but from the aftereffects of a procedure the week before. She was healthy and strong and then seven days later she was gone.
The next day my daughter was to be married. We went ahead with the ceremony as we knew that's what my mother would have wanted. And that's what all of us wanted too.. Instead of a large wedding we had a ten person ceremony in our living room. It had a special intimacy. The two life events are inextricably linked in my memory. On balance, I think that link has helped with my grief, but I can't be sure.
robertsdavidn.substack.com/about
Thank you for sharing this David.