This is so relatable and reading about it makes me feel better. Perhaps I don't need a solution right now, perhaps I just need to wait until something emerges on its own.
Sitting in such discomfort, trusting it will do me good not to bat it away or run from it. That, is the greatest challenge. Trusting it’s just ‘proof of life’ as you say, rather than something to be instantly fixed.
What a wonderful way to put all of this into words. Thank you
Just commenting to let you know I not only relate to this deeply, but have been entangled in it for too long. Especially at night, I think of Rilke and say to myself “something is happening, something is working inside me, and is not my business to know it yet.”
I relate so strongly to this but could never have articulated it so well. Reading has always been something that offered escape and the depressions where it was impossible were the hardest. It was only reading this that I realised how the restlessness has receded post menopause but that’s not much help to you where you are!
i remember vividly the moment, staring at the squiggles my mum was making on paper, which were incomprehensible and then suddenly, with delight, understanding that somehow they meant something. As to the other, I have had a diagnosis of schizophrenia since i was 28 and am now 63. I think maybe i understand it when i am in hospital and all the moorings i feel are familiar no longer feel connected to me at all. It is so good when i am free to laugh again and walk in the fresh air without worry.
This is so relatable and reading about it makes me feel better. Perhaps I don't need a solution right now, perhaps I just need to wait until something emerges on its own.
Sitting in such discomfort, trusting it will do me good not to bat it away or run from it. That, is the greatest challenge. Trusting it’s just ‘proof of life’ as you say, rather than something to be instantly fixed.
What a wonderful way to put all of this into words. Thank you
Amen.
Just commenting to let you know I not only relate to this deeply, but have been entangled in it for too long. Especially at night, I think of Rilke and say to myself “something is happening, something is working inside me, and is not my business to know it yet.”
Excellent. Hope you find the answers
Such a powerful essay 💥
I relate so strongly to this but could never have articulated it so well. Reading has always been something that offered escape and the depressions where it was impossible were the hardest. It was only reading this that I realised how the restlessness has receded post menopause but that’s not much help to you where you are!
i remember vividly the moment, staring at the squiggles my mum was making on paper, which were incomprehensible and then suddenly, with delight, understanding that somehow they meant something. As to the other, I have had a diagnosis of schizophrenia since i was 28 and am now 63. I think maybe i understand it when i am in hospital and all the moorings i feel are familiar no longer feel connected to me at all. It is so good when i am free to laugh again and walk in the fresh air without worry.
I feel for you. But maybe it is really a gift.
Great article Laura. I know what restlessness feels like, have been experiencing it all my life. Is it just that our brains are wired differently? 🤔